We've Moved!!

Grab your favorite pet and drag it over to our new home on Tumblr: http://skymallproductreview.tumblr.com/. See ya on the other side of the train tracks, Soul Patch!

"Bane" Your Way to the Hottest Forearms Around

Ladies we have all been there: hanging out in a nondescript location, possibly work, casually Vulcan typing on your computer while simultaneously writing something in pencil in your tiny journal, and frozenly loving every minute of it when you realize, fuck me... are my forearms fat?! DO NOT STRESS, for only $29.99 Skymall can ensure that you accomplish your goal of having at least half a skinny arm this summer and when Halloween rolls around you only need to pull out your favorite ski mask and a large shearling coat and your Bane costume is complete!

Shitty Screen Makes Hair, Domestic Life Effortless

This woman fares much better with the Instant Removable Screen Door than this poor soul.

Hey What Could Possibly Be In That Big Coke Bottle Thing?

Oh.

Is That Iced Tea? Are You Guys Having Iced Tea Over There? I Think I See Iced Tea.

The 4-Panel Privacy Screen is *kind of* private. Is anyone else thirsty right now?

There's One Way, And One Way Only, To Enjoy a Pool Float

(Legs up.)

(Head tilted.)

(Chin on hand.)

(Get out.)

World's Finest Pool Floats

Father's Day Gifts That Your Dad Will Kind of Maybe Like!

Just when you thought these dad jeans couldn't get more unhip, you realize they're actually pajamas.

The magnetic tie eliminates sloppiness, destroys Pacemakers.

[Frantically checks pockets and wallet] "Where the fuck did I leave my credit cards and ID!?" - A satisfied Smart Belt Buckle wearer. (Not to be confused with this lifesaver.)

Camo-my-God it's the "Grill" Sergeant BBQ Apron! 

\

Hey, how about some pants with those Grizzly Bear Slippers. There are children present.

I'd Pay 30 Invisible Dollars For This!

The DaVinci Code Invisible Writer ($29) "allows you to write secrets in an invisible ink that can only be read by using the special light from the pen." Here's a secret, as revealed in this simulation of how I believe this pen to work. [Cue dramatic Vatican Pope-drum music] T..O...M...HA...N.....KS...H...A...T..E..S...Y...O..U 

All Your Friends Will Say, "Wow! That HAS To Be From SkyMall!"

Since we're all over 5 feet tall, I can just imagine all the fun my friends and I will have this summer swatting this nonsense out of our faces.

Lean In, Ladies!

If you're gonna do the domestic thing, just go all in.

"Dad, My Butt Hurts."

The Misty Mate gives the illusion that the house is on fire. But don't worry, it's not. And if it were, the Misty Mate would put it out.

Get That Shattered Pelvic Bone You've Always Wanted

This shoddy elliptical requires assembly and is probably just about as safe as this.

Soon-To-Be-Mugged Traveler is Needy in 30 Different Langauges

Comment dis tu "whiny little bitch" en Français?

Hey! Check Out that Cool Zombie Dad!!

Cool Zombie Dad Alert! Weeooo Weeooo Weeoooo! Hey Zombie Dads, are you sick and tired of your zombie kids calling your lame? Like your mortality, it is now a problem of the past! With the Skull Cap Brimmed Hat you'll be the coolest Zombie Dad in town! Don't forget your favorite Bazaar coin necklace and unnecessary MIB sunglasses to complete your hip new look!

Great Gift for Your Cat OR GREATEST GIFT FOR YOUR CAT?!

All jokes aside the Feline Tree House looks like an amazing product. If you do not have a cat but still want to spend $800 on some sort of Treehouse I recommend visiting Treehouse Point in Washington for a few nights where you can rent your very own treehouse!

We're on Facebook, Ya Pervs

Lay down, loosen that tie, and see what SPR has to offer on Facebook. 

Welcome to the Least Comfortable Way to Not Read Your Books!

For only $995 show off your "Novel Style" with the newest piece of furniture from the Pretentious Illiterate Collection!

When It is Done and Gotham is in Ashes, You Have My Permission to ENJOY THE SLOPES!

Just because you grew up in an underground prison cruelly taunted by the faint light of the sun, doesn't mean you don't like to glide through that perfect powder like a dark angel. With the Subzero Warm Breath Mask, you'll never have to worry about chapped lips, a chilly nose or being without a constant stream of your life-sustaining super soldier serum.

"______________________________________"

Skymall Caption Contest!!!!

This is the Portable Infrared Sauna. It meets all the criteria of a classic Skymall Product: it looks dangerous, costs a fortune, and harnesses the power of infrared rays.

We want you to take this product to task by offering up your funniest caption in the comment section below!

Post a caption in the comments by this Friday at 12 p.m. ET. The winning caption will be posted on Friday afternoon! 

Sleep Tight, Little Girl. One Day You'll Grow Up To Do Exceptional Things!

Whether you're young or old, you are not welcome in my home with that thing.

Peacefully Sleep Your Way Through Your Next iPod Robbery

Because $27.95 is a small price to pay for the thrill of napping alone in a convertible.

Thank You, Marketplace Money!!

We had a great time chatting with Lois and Barbara on this weekend's edition of Marketplace Money. In case you missed it, audio can be found here. As a token of gratitude for having us on the show, please accept this Red Shoe Cat House. Maybe Lois can get one for her closet - no one will suspect it's not just a regular ole shoe.

Finally, A Chore For That 12-Foot Tall Daughter You've Been Hiding

Instant Pendant Dome Light

BY THE POWER OF GRAYSKULL, I HAVE THE POWER

...to take my tap water on-the-go!

Now Close Your Eyes, Take a Deep Breath, And Imagine A Beautiful Khaki Waterfall

SkyMall presents The Trouser Rack. No, no, no. Not the gay club. It's an actual rack, for trousers.

Unsurprisingly, Shirt That Makes Extra Large Statement about BBQ Only Available in XL

Finally, a shirt that puts brussels sprouts in their place.

At Last, A Garage Door Opener Free From The Confines Of The Driver's Side Visor

$59.95. Hey, I recognize that hand model!

Zippo Brings You a Fragrance that Can Only be Described as "Highly Flammable"

The Zippo Spray for men is part confidence, all lighter fluid.

Up In The Hair

You're dragging an extra-long load, you're on your cell phone, and you've got a smug look? Let's go stand on the moving walkway together...forever.

Man Perishes in World's Slowest Luge Accident

$169.95

Looking for a Fratty Way to Drown With Your Friends?

Just because college is over doesn't mean your terrible decision making has to be! Round up your crew and hit your closest mass body of water for some good ol' fashioned competitive drinking! For only $64.99 you can relive your glory days of consolidating cups and drinking beer mixed with ping pong balls covered in germs (if you're lucky enough to not loose your ball to the photoshopped lake again!)

Shadow Puppets Make Reading More Not-Hard

The iPad Adjustable Floor Stand provides an efficient and comfortable way to chronicle Dr. Froggy-Woggy's big adventure at the super market.

For the Truly Embarrassing Parent

"I'm­­-a rippin the hair outta my face like an old pizza pie-ya"

Channel your own terrible Italian impressions with the R.e.m. Spring Hair Remover. It's like using a bedspring to mow your upper lip, but significantly more expensive.

If Your Pillow Is Within Reasonable Proportions Of Your Actual Head Size, Who The Heck Are YOU?

(Anyone else feeling the heat between Angry Sleeper #1 and Dead Sleeper #2? Caliente!)

"Until We Chief Again, My Friend."

The Bag Re-Sealer comes in packs of two in case you accidentally seal one into the bag.

It's Like If Garth Brooks and Keenen Ivory Wayans Had a Parker Lewis and Named It "Are You Fucking Kidding Me?"

The "One of a Kind Shirt" is "one of a blind" man's creations.

Tweakers Plug Directly Into Smartphone, Pawn Smartphone for Cash

Tweakers Mini Speakers will totally get you back, man.