Tuesday, July 9, 2013

We've Moved!!

Grab your favorite pet and drag it over to our new home on Tumblr: http://skymallproductreview.tumblr.com/. See ya on the other side of the train tracks, Soul Patch!

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

"Bane" Your Way to the Hottest Forearms Around

Ladies we have all been there: hanging out in a nondescript location, possibly work, casually Vulcan typing on your computer while simultaneously writing something in pencil in your tiny journal, and frozenly loving every minute of it when you realize, fuck me... are my forearms fat?! DO NOT STRESS, for only $29.99 Skymall can ensure that you accomplish your goal of having at least half a skinny arm this summer and when Halloween rolls around you only need to pull out your favorite ski mask and a large shearling coat and your Bane costume is complete!

Friday, June 14, 2013

Father's Day Gifts That Your Dad Will Kind of Maybe Like!

Just when you thought these dad jeans couldn't get more unhip, you realize they're actually pajamas.

The magnetic tie eliminates sloppiness, destroys Pacemakers.

[Frantically checks pockets and wallet] "Where the fuck did I leave my credit cards and ID!?" - A satisfied Smart Belt Buckle wearer. (Not to be confused with this lifesaver.)

Camo-my-God it's the "Grill" Sergeant BBQ Apron

Hey, how about some pants with those Grizzly Bear Slippers. There are children present.

Friday, June 7, 2013

I'd Pay 30 Invisible Dollars For This!

The DaVinci Code Invisible Writer ($29) "allows you to write secrets in an invisible ink that can only be read by using the special light from the pen." Here's a secret, as revealed in this simulation of how I believe this pen to work. [Cue dramatic Vatican Pope-drum music] T..O...M...HA...N.....KS...H...A...T..E..S...Y...O..U 

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

All Your Friends Will Say, "Wow! That HAS To Be From SkyMall!"

Since we're all over 5 feet tall, I can just imagine all the fun my friends and I will have this summer swatting this nonsense out of our faces.

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Lean In, Ladies!

If you're gonna do the domestic thing, just go all in.

"Dad, My Butt Hurts."

The Misty Mate gives the illusion that the house is on fire. But don't worry, it's not. And if it were, the Misty Mate would put it out.

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Get That Shattered Pelvic Bone You've Always Wanted

This shoddy elliptical requires assembly and is probably just about as safe as this.

Soon-To-Be-Mugged Traveler is Needy in 30 Different Langauges

Comment dis tu "whiny little bitch" en Fran├žais?

Hey! Check Out that Cool Zombie Dad!!

Cool Zombie Dad Alert! Weeooo Weeooo Weeoooo! Hey Zombie Dads, are you sick and tired of your zombie kids calling your lame? Like your mortality, it is now a problem of the past! With the Skull Cap Brimmed Hat you'll be the coolest Zombie Dad in town! Don't forget your favorite Bazaar coin necklace and unnecessary MIB sunglasses to complete your hip new look!