Tuesday, July 9, 2013
Wednesday, July 3, 2013
Ladies we have all been there: hanging out in a nondescript location, possibly work, casually Vulcan typing on your computer while simultaneously writing something in pencil in your tiny journal, and frozenly loving every minute of it when you realize, fuck me... are my forearms fat?! DO NOT STRESS, for only $29.99 Skymall can ensure that you accomplish your goal of having at least half a skinny arm this summer and when Halloween rolls around you only need to pull out your favorite ski mask and a large shearling coat and your Bane costume is complete!
Tuesday, July 2, 2013
Thursday, June 27, 2013
Friday, June 14, 2013
Just when you thought these dad jeans couldn't get more unhip, you realize they're actually pajamas.
The magnetic tie eliminates sloppiness, destroys Pacemakers.
[Frantically checks pockets and wallet] "Where the fuck did I leave my credit cards and ID!?" - A satisfied Smart Belt Buckle wearer. (Not to be confused with this lifesaver.)
Camo-my-God it's the "Grill" Sergeant BBQ Apron!
Hey, how about some pants with those Grizzly Bear Slippers. There are children present.
Friday, June 7, 2013
The DaVinci Code Invisible Writer ($29) "allows you to write secrets in an invisible ink that can only be read by using the special light from the pen." Here's a secret, as revealed in this simulation of how I believe this pen to work. [Cue dramatic Vatican Pope-drum music] T..O...M...HA...N.....KS...H...A...T..E..S...Y...O..U
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
this nonsense out of our faces.
Thursday, May 9, 2013
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
Cool Zombie Dad Alert! Weeooo Weeooo Weeoooo! Hey Zombie Dads, are you sick and tired of your zombie kids calling your lame? Like your mortality, it is now a problem of the past! With the Skull Cap Brimmed Hat you'll be the coolest Zombie Dad in town! Don't forget your favorite Bazaar coin necklace and unnecessary MIB sunglasses to complete your hip new look!