That Shade Looks Real Good ... IN HELL

Well well, somebody got themselves an adorable new mirror to freshen up with. Heading out tonight, sweetheart? Looking for a little trouble? Oh, you'll find trouble all right. Couple of more touchups in that mirror and you'll be unstoppable. Set'em up and knock'em down, baby. KNOCK'EM ALL THE WAY DOWN TO HELL!

Nobody's Gonna Tell the Dark Messiah How to Shave in the Shower. Nobody.

When you don't have the time to shower in front of a mirror/multimedia onslaught, take those no-good double-crossing whiskers into the shower, turn the water off, and scrape away. Scrape every last motherfucking pore until it bleeds, until it's pure. Yeah, now we're cooking. COOKING IN HELL!!!

Now only $29.99--just because everyone else is going to pay doesn't mean you have to!

Confront Your Inner Psychopath with the Tri-Fold Wireless Mirror

You are a handsome, successful, clever and very, very powerful man. Don't EVER let anyone tell you differently. You are a handsome, successful, clever and very, very powerful man. Don't EVER let anyone tell you differently.