Great for Dad, the Kids, the Car Company AND the Con Man

Somebody Please Mug This Man!

From Skymall.com: "This newly streamlined all-season travel vest has 22 hidden no-bulge pockets and features the patented Personal Area Network (PAN) licensed from Technology Enabled Clothing TEC. This allows the wearer to route wires from personal electronics through a hidden conduit system. Without the clunky exterior pockets, you don't advertise that you're carrying valuables." ...except you just did, Dummy.

I Just Found Out That My Dog's Great-Great Grandfather Was a Slaveholder

Unearth your dog's deepest, darkest family secrets with Skymall's Canine Geneology Kit.

Lanyards and Wine? Skymall's Yuppiest Product Is Also Its Stupidest

Parties are fabulous, but those ridiculous glasses you have to carry around everywhere? So offensive. Let the lower class hold things. Strap that beverage to your chest and maximize your hands' potential at any social function.

Keep Lazy Midgets Off Your Lawn for Good

zzzzz...I Once Got Hit By a Car...zzzzz

In the Daydream Bed, your dog will relive the nightmare of getting hit by a car when he got off the leash that one time.

"__________________________________"

What a remarkable image -- so remarkable that Skymall Product Review wants you to write the headline for us. If you feel so inclined, please leave your hilarious submission in the comment section.

Details on the product can be found here.

Enjoy!

It's Like Sticking Your Feet on a Lite-Brite, Except it's a Lite-Brite that Costs $179.95

"Tree Sculpture" Will Pretty Up That Maple You've Been Dry-Humping in the Backyard

It's called "Spirit of Nottingham." Did Robin Hood have anthropomorphic trees?

Skymall's Shower Squeege Will Pique Your Curiousity in the Most Delightful Way

What are YOU going to squeege in the shower tonight?

Your Dog, Justifiably Confused As to Why You'd Buy This Contraption, Will Assume He's Been Demoted to Living in the Car, and It Will Sadden Him.

Captivating Lamp Could Never Fall for You, Probably Dating Some Handsome, Successful Lamp

The Mademoiselle Floor Lamp, in loving memory of Darren McGavin, the original sexy lamp connoisseur.

"Woah, BOTH kinds of tulips -- real and painted! Very classy. You bet your dick I'll have a glass of fucking Perrier."

"Those things Tuscan or some shit?"

New From Skymall's 'Needy Pillows' Collection

Not to be confused with the catalogue's 'Creepy Pillow' line of couchware, despite how similar they are.