Fight the Winter Blues....With Skin Cancer

For only $140 consider seasonal affective disorder a problem of the past! No more days waking up and wondering why things just seem so...well...just...so...grey. By purchasing the Skymall "Sun System" the only thing you'll have to worry about this cold and dreary season is a malignant melanoma.

Broken Tailbone, Bruised Elbow, and Bloody Nose in 5,4,3,2,1...

Fucking Double Ultimate Recliner Swing!

Sam Donaldson's Son Wants to Tell You About Pool Safety

"Even with the most vigilant supervision a child can disappear in seconds and not be missed until it's too late." Hey kid, why don't you hand one of those wristbands to your fully-clothed friend who is trying to play horizontal basketball in the pool...

SkyMall Cats: "Just Lazin' Around" or "Just Hidin' a Dead Body?" You Decide.

Skymall Will Pay Your DUI Bill

This Superbowl Sunday cruise around your Superbowl party in style on the Cruzin Boozin Cooler. Bring the ol' cruzin broozin to your next tailgating party and lure the parking lot cops into a high speed chase at up to 15 MPH!! Also does anyone else clearly see that this girl is going to a Redskins game/party and also looks eerily similar to Kelly Minchik and/or Mary Bruce?

RIP Heath

I tried to buy one as a memorial of sorts and Skymall is sold out...not. However if you are a more sympathetic person then I, these retail for $45. Now if only Skymall would make a Joker suit, I for one cannot wait for Dark Knight to come out.

Sell That Purse You Just Stole on Ebay!

Poop and Improve at the Same Time

Enjoy the Rain, Siamese Style

Whether you're an independent couple, or just too fat to share one umbrella, this product is for you! For the appropriately low price of $20 you can piss off everyone within 6 feet of you during a rain storm and really share some quality time with your significant other without getting too close.

One Step Up from the Snow Carpet

With the Snowscoop, all you do is "just push, pivot and dump!" Why does snowfall have to be so disgusting, Skymall??! And why are you using your child's sled to shovel snow, Bill Gates?

Because You and Your Man-Purse are too Good for Snow Shovels

"Roll out this brown carpet over ice and snow for a slip-free walking surface." First of all, gross. Second of all, you are lazy. Thirdly, I would totally use this product.

Doggie Pita!

"Ok, Which One of You Douchebags Put the Beer in the Barbeque?"

This Product Was Given to me for my Birthday Last Year. No, Seriously.

Thanks, Nate.