Finally, the Toilet Privacy I've Been Waiting For!

Oh, it's not a toilet? Welp, in that case, I think someone just pooped in your Personal Infrared Sauna.

Fresh from the Cheskymallapeake Bay!

Nothing says "Maryland Summer" like "ship frozen, thaw, heat and enjoy!"

The Coolaroo Dog Bed, as Seen on "Hoarders"

Made from knitted-mesh, the Coolaroo Dog Bed can support up to 23 puppies, 34 kittens, and at least 60 trash bags filled with expired coupons!

Mom Sandwich, Now in HD

The IPS Alpha Panel delivers a 178degree wide viewing angle with bright, clear images when viewed from most any location in the room, even from mom's underwear drawer!

"Yup, the sensor confirms it -- that damn faucet diarhea'd on the carpet again."

Looks Like Someone Got Caught Lookin' Down the Butterscotch Jar!

STOP EATING! JUST STOP IT!

"The Waistband Stretcher is constructed of durable plastic, and can be adjusted to fit waist-bands from 21" to 45 inches. Order today and make those clothes comfortable again!" Ugh.

"________________________________"

It's a surveillance camera disguised as a tissue box! Genius! Can you come up with a suitable caption?

The link to the product can be found here.

Want Sexier Lips? Burn Them Temporarily Swollen!

Take a look at this flattering review for the Lip Enhancement Kit--

"This kit really does plump the lips better than lip plumping gloss alone. I noticed it lasted about 2 hours. The directions say to use the plumping gloss (which tingles and feels "spicy") before you use the pump device; and to put it also directly on the device itself, as well. This burned the area around my lips and gave me "kool-aid mouth". So. I suggest using just plain chapstick or gloss, use the device, THEN use the plumping gloss. It seems to work better, and more comfortably. My husband was even impressed with the instant results; he was skeptical, but he's convinced now."

What Hell Looks Like for Outlets

Screaming faces rotate mindlessly in a three-pronged orgy of despair and maddening convenience -- nobody's protected or grounded in OUTLET HELL

Great for Dad, the Kids, the Car Company AND the Con Man

Somebody Please Mug This Man!

From Skymall.com: "This newly streamlined all-season travel vest has 22 hidden no-bulge pockets and features the patented Personal Area Network (PAN) licensed from Technology Enabled Clothing TEC. This allows the wearer to route wires from personal electronics through a hidden conduit system. Without the clunky exterior pockets, you don't advertise that you're carrying valuables." ...except you just did, Dummy.

I Just Found Out That My Dog's Great-Great Grandfather Was a Slaveholder

Unearth your dog's deepest, darkest family secrets with Skymall's Canine Geneology Kit.

Lanyards and Wine? Skymall's Yuppiest Product Is Also Its Stupidest

Parties are fabulous, but those ridiculous glasses you have to carry around everywhere? So offensive. Let the lower class hold things. Strap that beverage to your chest and maximize your hands' potential at any social function.