For the Truly Embarrassing Parent

"I'm­­-a rippin the hair outta my face like an old pizza pie-ya"

Channel your own terrible Italian impressions with the R.e.m. Spring Hair Remover. It's like using a bedspring to mow your upper lip, but significantly more expensive.

If Your Pillow Is Within Reasonable Proportions Of Your Actual Head Size, Who The Heck Are YOU?

(Anyone else feeling the heat between Angry Sleeper #1 and Dead Sleeper #2? Caliente!)

"Until We Chief Again, My Friend."

The Bag Re-Sealer comes in packs of two in case you accidentally seal one into the bag.

It's Like If Garth Brooks and Keenen Ivory Wayans Had a Parker Lewis and Named It "Are You Fucking Kidding Me?"

The "One of a Kind Shirt" is "one of a blind" man's creations.

Tweakers Plug Directly Into Smartphone, Pawn Smartphone for Cash

Tweakers Mini Speakers will totally get you back, man.