If Your Pillow Is Within Reasonable Proportions Of Your Actual Head Size, Who The Heck Are YOU?

(Anyone else feeling the heat between Angry Sleeper #1 and Dead Sleeper #2? Caliente!)

"Until We Chief Again, My Friend."

The Bag Re-Sealer comes in packs of two in case you accidentally seal one into the bag.

It's Like If Garth Brooks and Keenen Ivory Wayans Had a Parker Lewis and Named It "Are You Fucking Kidding Me?"

The "One of a Kind Shirt" is "one of a blind" man's creations.

Tweakers Plug Directly Into Smartphone, Pawn Smartphone for Cash

Tweakers Mini Speakers will totally get you back, man.

Leave It to Mom to Ruin Christmas

Zip up the Christmas spirit (quick, before the presents have been opened) with the Pro Bag and Stand.

Even the Chair Itself Looks Lazy and Slightly Short of Breath

"Loaded with a huge list of proprietary capabilities and features, the Sogno DreamWave will transport you to a place of total relaxation with more body coverage than any other massage chair in the market."

Have You Ever Seen Shame in a Dog's Eye? Yea, Neither Have I.

Skymall.com describes this Toilet Dog & Cat Water Bowl as a "hilarious conversation starter." I imagine the hilarious conversation would go something like this:

[doorbell rings]

"Hi, I'm looking for Michael Donson?"
"That's what my mom calls me but my friends all call me crazy!"
"Sir you owe over $50,000 in credit card debt and we need to repossess your car."

Something About Snatches and Making Things Harder?

The Buckle Up - Aliens Teeshirt is as confusing as it is dumb.

How Bout You Go Take A Long StreetStride On A Short Pier

The StreetStrider Summit 8r costs $2,000. Being the most hated person on the sidewalk ain't cheap!

He Proposed and She Said "YES!!!"

Some of life's most precious moments happen on a Faux Suede Furniture Protector.

401(K)? More like 401(No Way!)

Secure your savings future and get the piece of mind only a box of crackers can provide.

Muscle Milk is for Pussies

Pull one of these bad boys out of your gym bag after blasting those delts.

Latest SkyMall Creation is Half Man, Half Piece of F*cking Shit

 

...and allllllll crap. 

Let's See if this Little Sweetheart Can Swim!

This is called the Bountiful Apron Sculpture and I have absolutely no desire at all to punch it in the face.