At Last, A Garage Door Opener Free From The Confines Of The Driver's Side Visor

$59.95. Hey, I recognize that hand model!

It's Like If Garth Brooks and Keenen Ivory Wayans Had a Parker Lewis and Named It "Are You Fucking Kidding Me?"

The "One of a Kind Shirt" is "one of a blind" man's creations.

Holy Pepperoni! Nice Bald Death Stare Small Ear Karate Pants. I Mean, Nice Abs!

The Ab Radical Abdominal Optimizer will get you thinking about everything but abs!

This'll Teach My Chin Not to Poop on the Good Carpet

FaceTrainer is "the only fitness device that applies the proven principals of resistance training to facial muscles." Also, it's made by a company called No!No!. The marketers behind this should Know!Know! better.

Every Single Hand Model in the Entire World Was Busy the Day This Photo Was Taken

(Key, Wallet & Glasses Finders)

I Come From a Long Line of Costume Shop Employees

Buy SkyMall's DNA Ancestors to find out which TNT Mini-Series YOUR ancestors starred in! Also, don't forget to unearth your dog's filthy family secrets here.

"Intentional" Unisex Bamboo T-Shirts Come in Three Sizes...

One Thumb Up!

Two Thumbs Up!!!!

Someone stole my necklace and my thumbs! Hi!

These t-shirts are supposed to channel positive energy into your body from the heartfelt expressions written on the inside of the t-shirts. SkyMall researchers have proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that inspiring language on the inside of unisex t-shirts can make a powerful difference in your life. Researchers have yet to prove why anyone should drop $40.00 on one of Skymall's t-shirts instead of writing the same words and phrases on t-shirts they already own.

Catch Skymall Live at The Comedy Store Next Saturday Night ($10 at the door, 2 Drink Minimum)

Too Safe To Not Photoshop Onto a Profile Model's Ear

This is the Drive Alert Master, a diminutive way to stay awake in the car on those special highway jaunts when consciousness is priority No. 1. The DAM will sound a piercing beep at the "first sound of drowsiness," which we have to assume constitutes any cranial movement of 2 inches or more. Feel at total ease on your next cross-country venture as your earpiece blasts arbitrary alarm after arbitrary alarm through your head, steadying your nerves and your hand. Shit-eating grin optional.