Soon-To-Be-Mugged Traveler is Needy in 30 Different Langauges

Comment dis tu "whiny little bitch" en Français?

Finally, A Chore For That 12-Foot Tall Daughter You've Been Hiding

Instant Pendant Dome Light

At Last, A Garage Door Opener Free From The Confines Of The Driver's Side Visor

$59.95. Hey, I recognize that hand model!

Even the Chair Itself Looks Lazy and Slightly Short of Breath

"Loaded with a huge list of proprietary capabilities and features, the Sogno DreamWave will transport you to a place of total relaxation with more body coverage than any other massage chair in the market."

Latest SkyMall Creation is Half Man, Half Piece of F*cking Shit

 

...and allllllll crap. 

Cutting is Over!

Pack up your knives and throw away your razors, tweens! Self-mutilate for the new millennium and burn the skin right off your body! Relieve the pain your mother just doesn't understand with the Infrared LED Pain Reliever. It's a cry for help...to the third degree!

Every Single Hand Model in the Entire World Was Busy the Day This Photo Was Taken

(Key, Wallet & Glasses Finders)

Ah Ha! Just as I suspected! This Carton Contains MILK!

For $200, you too can discover the hidden secrets of everyday household products.

All of Your Friends Will Say, "What Happens When You Press the Button with the Car on It?"