Telling Time Has Never Been So Pointlessly Complicated

Do you remember how smart you felt in kindergarten when you learned how to read a clock for the very first time? Search for that vindication all over again with the Color Pattern Clock, the latest step downward in SkyMall's irritating quest to reinvent the way we tell time. At first sight, the device might confuse you, but once you realize the series of colored lights corresponds with the different numbers on a normal clock, you'll understand just how clever this product really isn't. Great for people with overwhelming feelings of inadequacy and epileptics who love a challenge.

Your General Lack of Awareness Has Never Been So Stylish

Everyone's been there before: you wake up, look over at your alarm clock and say to yourself, " it's obviously 7:45 a.m., but good god, what day of the week is it?" These days, if you don't have access to a newspaper, television, radio, computer, family member, friend, neighbor, passerby, digital wristwatch or calendar, you'll never know! Enter the Day Clock, the latest addition to SkyMall's arsenal of products for the vacuous consumer.

The product details christen the Day Clock "a great conversation piece." Great conversations may include the following remarks: "are you serious," "wow, you're completely serious," and
"my cousin in solitary confinement would love one of these."