Sky Mall Product Review

Every Single Hand Model in the Entire World Was Busy the Day This Photo Was Taken

2011-05-02T16:31:00.000-07:00

"Somebody call a f*cking ambulance!"

2011-05-02T16:18:00.000-07:00

"PupSTEP Plus Pet Stairs make it easier for older dogs and cats, pets with joint problems, or even just tired pets, to get up onto their favorite couch, chair or bed..." and die.

This Does not Kill You; It Makes You Stronger

2010-02-19T16:24:00.000-08:00

The product that this is based on was approved by the FDA in 1998.

Shower Heads From the "Double Dare" Collection

2010-02-19T15:24:00.000-08:00

The kind of shower Marc and Robin would have wanted you to take.

There Was an Earthquake in Haiti

2010-02-19T15:19:00.001-08:00

I Come From a Long Line of Costume Shop Employees

2010-01-05T15:52:00.000-08:00

Buy SkyMall's DNA Ancestors to find out which TNT Mini-Series YOUR ancestors starred in! Also, don't forget to unearth your dog's filthy family secrets here.

2010: Cloud Computing Technology. Global Broadband Interface. Cell Phone Watch.

2010-01-03T14:59:00.000-08:00

The Cell Phone Watch costs $300.

Finally, the Toilet Privacy I've Been Waiting For!

2009-12-16T14:55:00.001-08:00

Oh, it's not a toilet? Welp, in that case, I think someone just pooped in your Personal Infrared Sauna.

Fresh from the Cheskymallapeake Bay!

2009-12-16T13:43:00.000-08:00

Nothing says "Maryland Summer" like "ship frozen, thaw, heat and enjoy!"

The Coolaroo Dog Bed, as Seen on "Hoarders"

2009-12-16T13:19:00.000-08:00

Made from knitted-mesh, the Coolaroo Dog Bed can support up to 23 puppies, 34 kittens, and at least 60 trash bags filled with expired coupons!

Mom Sandwich, Now in HD

2009-12-14T13:27:00.001-08:00

The IPS Alpha Panel delivers a 178degree wide viewing angle with bright, clear images when viewed from most any location in the room, even from mom's underwear drawer!

"Yup, the sensor confirms it -- that damn faucet diarhea'd on the carpet again."

2009-12-04T14:21:00.000-08:00

Looks Like Someone Got Caught Lookin' Down the Butterscotch Jar!

2009-08-21T15:53:00.000-07:00

STOP EATING! JUST STOP IT!

2009-08-21T15:44:00.000-07:00

"The Waistband Stretcher is constructed of durable plastic, and can be adjusted to fit waist-bands from 21" to 45 inches. Order today and make those clothes comfortable again!" Ugh.

"________________________________"

2009-08-11T12:42:00.001-07:00

It's a surveillance camera disguised as a tissue box! Genius! Can you come up with a suitable caption?

The link to the product can be found here.

Want Sexier Lips? Burn Them Temporarily Swollen!

2009-08-07T11:40:00.000-07:00

Take a look at this flattering review for the Lip Enhancement Kit--

"This kit really does plump the lips better than lip plumping gloss alone. I noticed it lasted about 2 hours. The directions say to use the plumping gloss (which tingles and feels "spicy") before you use the pump device; and to put it also directly on the device itself, as well. This burned the area around my lips and gave me "kool-aid mouth". So. I suggest using just plain chapstick or gloss, use the device, THEN use the plumping gloss. It seems to work better, and more comfortably. My husband was even impressed with the instant results; he was skeptical, but he's convinced now."

What Hell Looks Like for Outlets

2009-08-03T20:10:00.001-07:00

Screaming faces rotate mindlessly in a three-pronged orgy of despair and maddening convenience -- nobody's protected or grounded in OUTLET HELL

Great for Dad, the Kids, the Car Company AND the Con Man

2009-08-03T20:03:00.000-07:00

Somebody Please Mug This Man!

2009-08-03T13:37:00.000-07:00

From Skymall.com: "This newly streamlined all-season travel vest has 22 hidden no-bulge pockets and features the patented Personal Area Network (PAN) licensed from Technology Enabled Clothing TEC. This allows the wearer to route wires from personal electronics through a hidden conduit system. Without the clunky exterior pockets, you don't advertise that you're carrying valuables." ...except you just did, Dummy.

I Just Found Out That My Dog's Great-Great Grandfather Was a Slaveholder

2009-08-03T13:29:00.001-07:00

Unearth your dog's deepest, darkest family secrets with Skymall's Canine Geneology Kit.

Lanyards and Wine? Skymall's Yuppiest Product Is Also Its Stupidest

2009-05-20T10:12:00.000-07:00

Parties are fabulous, but those ridiculous glasses you have to carry around everywhere? So offensive. Let the lower class hold things. Strap that beverage to your chest and maximize your hands' potential at any social function.

Keep Lazy Midgets Off Your Lawn for Good

2009-04-08T14:29:00.001-07:00

Much Needed Relief for Guardians of the Hopelessly Stupid

2009-04-03T22:24:00.001-07:00

"So, I just got this towel hanger thing from Skymall for $249.99, and I think it was a really great grab..."

2009-04-03T22:12:00.000-07:00

"What? No, you asshole, they do not sell the exact same thing for 40 bucks at Ikea. This one's way better than those! It's made of metal! Solid metal. Unlike you, I'll never have to buy another towel hanger thing for my pool ever again!"

zzzzz...I Once Got Hit By a Car...zzzzz

2009-04-03T16:49:00.000-07:00

In the Daydream Bed, your dog will relive the nightmare of getting hit by a car when he got off the leash that one time.

"__________________________________"

2009-04-02T09:13:00.001-07:00

What a remarkable image -- so remarkable that Skymall Product Review wants you to write the headline for us. If you feel so inclined, please leave your hilarious submission in the comment section.

Details on the product can be found here.

Enjoy!

It's Like Sticking Your Feet on a Lite-Brite, Except it's a Lite-Brite that Costs $179.95

2009-04-02T08:48:00.000-07:00

"Tree Sculpture" Will Pretty Up That Maple You've Been Dry-Humping in the Backyard

2009-04-02T08:33:00.000-07:00

It's called "Spirit of Nottingham." Did Robin Hood have anthropomorphic trees?

New from the Wrist Solutions Specialists at Skymall's Sleep Science Laboratories

2009-03-26T18:59:00.000-07:00

We were all relieved when Skymall finally offered us a wrist-borne prophylactic measure against sweaty nights. Thanks to that gentle, moisture-activated alarm, we can be fully aware that we are going to wake up in clammy sheets.

Introducing the next generation in personal sleep-threat prevention technology: the Time to Stop Snoring Wristband takes therapy back to the basics by electrocuting you whenever you snore.

Comes in adult and children's sizes. Perfect for the elderly and pet training as well.

Skymall's Shower Squeege Will Pique Your Curiousity in the Most Delightful Way

2009-03-25T13:56:00.000-07:00

What are YOU going to squeege in the shower tonight?

FInally, A Fitting Tribute to a Hero of Humor

2009-03-24T10:58:00.000-07:00

Skymall pays tribute to Skymall Product Review Co-creator and writer Nate Luce with this stunningly life-like bronze portrait head. Congratulations, buddy! We're all proud. (Comes with coffee table book, The Best of SPR: Nate Luce Chronicles, featuring classics such as "Woah, BOTH Kinds of Tulips" and "Misunderstood Flatware.")

Your Dog, Justifiably Confused As to Why You'd Buy This Contraption, Will Assume He's Been Demoted to Living in the Car, and It Will Sadden Him.

2009-03-13T07:57:00.000-07:00

Captivating Lamp Could Never Fall for You, Probably Dating Some Handsome, Successful Lamp

2009-03-11T06:27:00.000-07:00

The Mademoiselle Floor Lamp, in loving memory of Darren McGavin, the original sexy lamp connoisseur.

"Woah, BOTH kinds of tulips -- real and painted! Very classy. You bet your dick I'll have a glass of fucking Perrier."

2009-03-05T07:44:00.000-08:00

"Those things Tuscan or some shit?"

New From Skymall's 'Needy Pillows' Collection

2009-03-04T08:58:00.000-08:00

Not to be confused with the catalogue's 'Creepy Pillow' line of couchware, despite how similar they are.

Orbitz is back, and it's after your toothbrush!

2009-02-23T21:26:00.000-08:00

A Refrigerator for Tools! Also, Discrete Alcoholics.

2009-02-23T09:47:00.000-08:00

For $300, you can slightly impress a fellow tool-head with the Tool Box Refrigerator. Then you will be pressured into offering them a beverage.

Waiting for the Super Shuttle Just Got a Little More Rock'n'Roll

2009-02-19T14:37:00.000-08:00

"Baltimore-Washington International Airport, Terminal G, Arrivals, Blue Zone: ARE YOU READY TO ROCK?????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Ah Ha! Just as I suspected! This Carton Contains MILK!

2009-02-19T14:31:00.000-08:00

For $200, you too can discover the hidden secrets of everyday household products.

...Or You Could Just Get a Pair of Glasses

2009-02-19T14:20:00.000-08:00

Only for Hardcore NFL Fans.

2009-02-19T09:31:00.000-08:00

Misunderstood Flatware Thanks Portly Guests for Licking the Plate Clean

2009-02-19T08:31:00.000-08:00

A Friendly Way to Ward off Solicitors

2009-02-18T12:49:00.000-08:00

There's Always Wine in This Frenchman's Pants!

2009-02-17T08:56:00.000-08:00

That Shade Looks Real Good ... IN HELL

2009-02-16T12:32:00.000-08:00

Well well, somebody got themselves an adorable new mirror to freshen up with. Heading out tonight, sweetheart? Looking for a little trouble? Oh, you'll find trouble all right. Couple of more touchups in that mirror and you'll be unstoppable. Set'em up and knock'em down, baby. KNOCK'EM ALL THE WAY DOWN TO HELL!

Looks Are Gonna Kill Today, Hairless Vixen ... KILL IN HELL

2009-02-16T12:24:00.001-08:00

Oh yeah, baby's looking good today. Pretty girl. Pretty, pretty girl. You know what they say -- pretty girls always get the pretty boys. And pretty boys always have such pretty, delectible souls. Just a couple of more dabs on my sniffer and baby's stepping out for a little lunch... in HELL!!!

Creepy Pillow Really Enjoys Sitting With You on the Couch, Isn't Afraid to Talk About It.

2009-02-16T09:51:00.001-08:00

Step Aside, "Milliliters" -- This Measuring Cup's Got Real-World Conversions People Can Understand.

2009-02-16T09:09:00.000-08:00

Skymall asked people like you what they thought about the state of relative measurement in our country today. The response was overwhelming.

"Fuck 'cups' and 'tablespoons,'" you said. "Give us 'cumulus clouds the size of a bus' and 'body cells that die on a good day.'"

You're welcome, America.

New Ultraviolet Toiletlight Takes the Gamble Out of Night-Pooping

2009-02-16T08:15:00.000-08:00

Lights for toilet paper, flusher and sink sold seperately.

Now THAT's Recycling!

2009-02-16T08:03:00.000-08:00

You've been hand-sorting your recyclables like a chump for too long. Time to step up your game. Reasonably priced at $300.00, the All-in-One Recycling Center is the must-have product for any recession.

"Intentional" Unisex Bamboo T-Shirts Come in Three Sizes...

2008-12-01T12:53:00.000-08:00

One Thumb Up!

Two Thumbs Up!!!!

Someone stole my necklace and my thumbs! Hi!

These t-shirts are supposed to channel positive energy into your body from the heartfelt expressions written on the inside of the t-shirts. SkyMall researchers have proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that inspiring language on the inside of unisex t-shirts can make a powerful difference in your life. Researchers have yet to prove why anyone should drop $40.00 on one of Skymall's t-shirts instead of writing the same words and phrases on t-shirts they already own.

So This Is Where Your Narcissism Has Led You

2008-11-25T12:33:00.000-08:00

...to a sad, gullible place where you search frantically hither and yon for the answer to humanity's most repulsive scourge -- aging.

Sure, now you're waking up with a cup of coffee and 20 LED lights radiating meaninglessly across your face. But it's not going to last, lady. Time makes ogres of us all. First you'll lose your lucrative gig at the beauty corporation. Then you'll fall behind on the payments for the Light Therapy System. Before you know it you're a hasbeen, watching Duckman reruns on USA and basking in the second-rate glow of pilfered alarm clocks and laser pointers while you wait on a phone call from a beauty agent that will never come. So enjoy your wall of fancy lights while you can, Miss. Moments like these are but embers in a waning fire.

You Know What Would Be Even Cooler? A Bag for the Bag Your Bag's In.

2008-11-21T14:06:00.000-08:00

"No, that's not the Space Needle, It's Fucking Dallas! We WORK IN DALLAS."

2008-11-21T11:28:00.000-08:00

Skymall's Michael Jordan Figurine Was Clearly Designed By Someone Unfamiliar With the Concept of Basketball

2008-11-17T11:56:00.000-08:00

Seven inches of "what the fuck is Michael Jordan doing?" available now for only $14.99.

Day Sweat Alarm Sold Separately

2008-11-13T06:51:00.000-08:00

There was a time when mankind didn't care about its nocturnal secretions, but with most of the world's social and economic problems firmly under control, we can bring the night sweat issue to the forefront of our simple, clamy minds, where it belongs.

Make no mistake, this alarm will in no way cure you of those repulsive night sweats. But it will sound a gentle alert that can rouse even the deepest sleeper from his sweaty slumber in the wee hours of the morning, leaving enough time to soil two bedsets a night instead of one. Just another brilliant product sprung from the collective loins of SkyMall and the Giant Biosensor company, which is a functional corporate entity and definintely not a gigantic, self-aware biosensor.

New Skymall Doggie Bed Takes the Hassle Out of Gauging Your Pet's Junk Temperature

2008-11-11T08:11:00.000-08:00

Oh, Great! Another Piece of Furniture Inspired by the Movie "I'm Gonna Get You Sucka."

2008-10-23T21:05:00.000-07:00

Pimp.

Eh, I'm Already Bored.

2008-09-03T00:06:00.000-07:00

The Truth Has Never Been So Clear: Skymall Just Ripped You Off So Bad

2008-09-02T23:54:00.000-07:00

Why spend $400 on glasses or contacts when you can get a glorified magnifying glass that hooks up to the television!

Step Up to the Levitating Plate in the Name of Effective Spice Control

2008-08-08T08:05:00.000-07:00

A brief glance into your future...

2008-07-14T11:29:00.001-07:00

"This beverage dispenser, cleverly disguised as a 3 wood, [will be] much more [to you] than just a conversation piece."

Flip Flops are NOT Just for Feet Anymore!

2008-07-14T11:09:00.000-07:00

I question the implications of the data presented by the graph above.

Animanamals (tm) Say What They Almost Are!

2008-07-06T22:08:00.000-07:00

"And I think it's gonna be a long long time..."

2008-07-03T13:35:00.000-07:00

Stay the Hell Away From My Corn, Pervert

2008-07-02T09:38:00.000-07:00

In what appears to be an extremely confusing attempt to stave off any backlash from Kernel Rights groups, Skymall markets the "Butter Boy" as an effective way to "Protect your hands from hot, buttery ears of corn," but everyone knows which limbless, neckerchiefed joy boy unhinged his jaws, introduced a slender finger into his rectum and slathered butter up and down every girthy cob in the tri-park picnic area to begin with. If there was ever a reason to devote 100% of our nation's corn output to alternative fuels, this fruitcake is it.

Hilarious Hillary's Shittin' Walnuts! How Timely.

2008-06-24T13:26:00.000-07:00

What is this novelty gift trying to say?

Wait ...Your Snowshovel Doesn't Have a Wheel On It? Weird.

2008-06-18T12:16:00.000-07:00

Skymall admits that "at first glance, the Wovel might appear to the layperson to be a novel-looking device counterintuitive to effective snow removal." This may seem fairly derrogatory, especially when one considers that a) snowshoveling is about the most "lay" activity imaginable and b) it's called a "Wovel," but the magazine of the skies has your best interest in mind. Or should I say "back interest" --

"the Wovel is an elegant and efficient design based on two of the oldest and most commonplace scientific principles ever put into use: the wheel and the lever...Now, with virtually no effort, you can throw snow without twisting or lifting. Designed to greatly reduce physical strain and the risks of back and heart injuries associated with shoveling."

The choice is obvious. Why throw away money on a snowblower when you can could enjoy the same level of ease with a more traditional wheeled shovel that only costs $114.95?

Skymall Fitness Competition: Who's Your Favorite Fitness Femme Fatale?

2008-06-12T11:52:00.000-07:00

Babe #1: Karen If looks could kill, they would be the seventh or eighth way that Karen could kill you--watch out fellas, this girl is ripped! With Leg Magic , toned legs, chisled abs, and a linebacker's jaw are just a workout away.

Babe #2: Erica No, she's not stoned out of her gourd, Erica's just getting her stretch on with the StretchRite, the most colorful way to loosen up your joints and muscles with an arbitrary length of fabric. We're not leaving until that knee pit touches the hardwood, sweetpea!

Babe #3: Madeline Everyone's looking for the touch of another, even a sexy little number like Madeline. But until that day comes, she's gonna be into touching herself...with the TheraCane Massager, of course. The embrace of corrogated metal never satisfied more!

Babe #4 Agatha Quiet afternoons stranded helplessly in bed are a thing of the past for this geriatric love goddess with the Smart-Rail Bed Rail, the enabler of the elderly with the clever name! The pulling motion required to rise from a single bed in a dorm-style environment is just the kind of exercise women like Agatha need to keep hips and thighs curvy and men badly bruised. Please stop looking at us like that, Agatha!

Skymall Swimsuit Competition: Scoooo-ooooo-ooooop! Comment to vote for your favorite Skymall Seductress!

2008-06-12T11:03:00.000-07:00

Babe #1: Lisa Lisa's taking a break from riding her Pool Water Saddle to show the goods, wrapped in a beautiful yellow swimsuit, to her man (shown above, riding saddle and loving it). Is it just me, Lisa, or are your husband's breasts larger than yours? Just kidding! Luv ya, Lisa!

Babe #2: Sung Li Not sure what kind of crazy device Sung Li's got there, but she sure is lookin' fine! Give me a call sometime! How about it?

Babe #3: Julia Julia takes Nascar straight to the swimming pool, with the Noodler Pool Lounger. Nothing could go wrong when you wear your titty-stache bikini and take it easy in your brand new Noodler! Right, Julia? That's right...
Babe #4: Sheila Sheila's looking elegant, yet seductive, in her white suit and sexy pose. This Pool Float screams simplicity and comfort. A must have for any environmentally conscious pool owner. Do you come with purchase, Sheila?

Babe #5: Lyla (Contestant withdrawn) Looks like someone had a long day at the office, ey Lyla? Lyla? Oh, shit...

Babe #6: Jennifer WOWZAH!! No way my wife's gettin' one of them showers! Keep your eye on the neighbor's window, Jenny!

Babe # 7: Donna Donna prefers flotation with a touch of class, in her Original Pool Chaise. Nothing can touch this vicious vixen! Stay cool, Donna!

Babe # 8: Kenya Seen here in her sexy maroon swimsuit, Kenya is enjoying an afternoon afloat in her brand new Motorized Pool Lounger, the world's most advanced self-propelled pool float, from Excalibur! With flotation capacity up to a deuce and a half, you don't have to be sculpted like Kenya to get your float on...Lookin' hot, Kenya!

Skymall Swimsuit Competition: Behind the Scenes Woah there, ladies! Don't get too frisky just yet! The voting hasn't even started!

NO WAY Those Sunglasses Are Attached to Your Hat!!!

2008-06-11T14:10:00.000-07:00

There's just no way. They look like one of the many popular brands of luxury eyewear I've seen celebrities and athletes wearing in the tabloid magazines. I think I saw a pair of specs just like that for sale at my favorite kiosk in the mall; as I recall, they were very expensive. A man of your means could never afford sunglasses like that.....

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, you sexy trickster! Where on earth did you find those things?! Very impressive. Compliance is going to love them.

Welcome to Dorktown, Fucking Dorks.

2008-06-11T13:57:00.000-07:00

Inappropriate for anyone not living at these exact coordinates.

Channel Your Inner Southern Judge With The Latest in Patio Tablet Technology!

2008-06-10T13:42:00.000-07:00

Just Another Day at the Office

2008-06-05T11:27:00.000-07:00

"Your upper body is what makes you beautiful and appear to be fit or not."

If you don't want to be the only non-beautiful person in the office then the Spring Flex UB is the product for you. Just toss off your work clothes, jump into your favorite titey-whiteys and throw your keyboard and other desk accessories out the window. You're on your way to the new beautiful you, judged solely on your upper body.

No Need to Turn Around, Oblivious Female Commuter, the Video Screen's Doing it For You!

2008-06-05T08:46:00.000-07:00

The woman pushing the stroller appears to be screaming.

100% Life-like Robotic Humanoid

2008-06-04T10:47:00.000-07:00

Hand crafted to look just like you, their battery packs charge easily -- even on an airplane (careful of those metal detectors, though)! They'll do anything you ask, in your stead. Comes fully assembled, but requires about a day's worth of software installation and options customization upon delivery.

Even the Skymall Model Thinks This is a Huge Hassle

2008-06-03T11:34:00.000-07:00

Clean your own chimney in 64 simple steps!

"So wait...you want us to eat here by the grill, or..."

2008-06-03T08:46:00.000-07:00

Ensure the Worst Tan Lines of Your Life

2008-06-01T20:46:00.000-07:00

People never have to know you are wearing "fit over" sunglasses, with Skymall's new Vistana Overx Sunglasses ...unless of course your db husband takes his off and leaves them on his face!

Taking the Lap Pool Up A Notch

2008-06-01T20:35:00.000-07:00

Celebrate Darwinism in a recreational swimming environment with Skymall's Evolution Fins.

Cheaper than Sending Your Cars to Summer Camp.

2008-06-01T20:26:00.000-07:00

Another Gem from the "Pretentious Illiterate" Collection

2008-06-01T20:17:00.000-07:00

For only $250 potentially lead all your guests to believe that you stocked up on furniture at a library yard sale. When people go to check for old cards recording past checkouts they will instead find your extensive media collection. You can place it right next to your showcase of fake books.

Comb Your Hair and Give Yourself Brain Surgery at the Same Time

2008-05-30T12:33:00.000-07:00

Forget expensive medical bills and embarassing hospital gowns! Comb away invasive neurological disorders with the Hairmax Laser Comb!

Make Tough Love an Approach of the Past

2008-05-30T12:00:00.001-07:00

With this flexible screen your child never has to learn the hard way again that doors are meant to be opened before walking through.

Sick and Tired of Your Furniture?

2008-05-30T11:55:00.000-07:00

Well with this "ghost vent" Skymall takes care of that problem for you.

Non-Slip Surface!

2008-05-30T10:09:00.000-07:00

"I went flying through the windshield, and the pregnant lady driving in front of me was killed. But my laptop and cordless handset where right where I left them! Had to replace the viewing monitor in the rear windshield, though."

Running for Sport or Running for Your Life? No One Will Be Able to Tell When You Do It in Sandals

2008-05-30T06:43:00.000-07:00

Peel your SunChip-encrusted lips from that Sherlock, dirty fucking hippies, a struggling American retail industry is pandering to your crunchy asses! Flee from freaky-deeky creditors in style and comfort -- Skymall's Bite Xtension Performance Running Sandals offer ambiguous technologies like the "Enerflow Outsole System" and "sculpted phylon highwall midsole." They aren't just "The world's coolest running sandal," they are the world's only running sandal.

Do Not Attempt this if you own a Mini Cooper

2008-05-28T16:19:00.000-07:00

This product also doubles as a full body sling. The only thing more fun then setting it up, is getting out of it. Also their license plate says Hamanaka. I think Sky Mall is trying to tell us its a Man Hammock.

Who Needs an Ipod...

2008-05-19T12:20:00.000-07:00

...when all your music can be stored in a convenient 76'' triple-column monstrosity? From the product description: "holds 2262 CDs, 936 DVDs, 528 VHS tapes or 456 Disney tapes."

Regardless, I Will Not Read Your Novel.

2008-05-19T12:05:00.000-07:00

What do Hemingway, Dickens, Roth, and Nabokov have in common? They all got the shit beaten out of them for wearing this awful sweatshirt.

Yeah. Fucking. Right.

2008-03-03T18:04:00.000-08:00

"Just zip the IRISPen across the page and see all the text and numbers instantly retyped into your computer. No more manual entry needed! Now, you can just scan it!"

It takes more than an IrisPen 6 and a computer monitor to get through law school, Bangs.

"Some Chair Came Into the Office the Other Day and Interviewed for the Marketing Coordinator Position..."

2008-03-03T17:48:00.000-08:00

Dress your chair for success with The Chair Valet.

Please Leave All "Carry On" Items by the Pool

2008-02-24T22:28:00.001-08:00

Ever think your parties need a little bit more of an airport look? With this portable iPod PA system you can make sure your party looks like everyone's work week for only $300. Also apparently this product is also being marketed to men who croon into microphones 8 inches from their female guests...

The Magical Glare Resistance Device Sold Seperately

2008-02-24T22:20:00.000-08:00

P.S This family needs to put King Kong on hold and do a couple of laps around the backyard.

We Work Hard Here at SPR. But Guess What? We Can Play Hard, Too!!!!!

2008-02-20T16:51:00.000-08:00

Nothing Displays Your Love of Books More...Than Buying Fake Books

2008-02-18T23:29:00.001-08:00

These books belong in the home of the "pretentious illiterate."

Hide Your Hearing Problem by Looking like A Total Douche

2008-02-18T23:15:00.000-08:00

If you are embarrassed of wearing a hearing aid just buy this Stealth Secret Sound Amplifier. For $40 next time you are having a conversation, at a dinner party, at your kids recital, or pretty much any public place, the Stealth Secret Sound Amplifier will ensure that no one will ever know you have a hearing problem because they will be too busy thinking you are a total douchebag who should take his/her bluetooth off.

Just Because It's Frozen Doesn't Mean I Still Can't Step In It

2008-02-14T12:43:00.001-08:00

Dear Skymall,
Please stop stealing product ideas from shitty Jack Black movies from the 90's.
Best,
Cissy

Fight the Winter Blues....With Skin Cancer

2008-02-14T12:26:00.001-08:00

For only $140 consider seasonal affective disorder a problem of the past! No more days waking up and wondering why things just seem so...well...just...so...grey. By purchasing the Skymall "Sun System" the only thing you'll have to worry about this cold and dreary season is a malignant melanoma.

Broken Tailbone, Bruised Elbow, and Bloody Nose in 5,4,3,2,1...

2008-02-13T15:53:00.001-08:00

Fucking Double Ultimate Recliner Swing!